Past love, meet new love
by Jediempress
Summary: RikuSora, past[?] CloudRiku. Riku's former relationship is revealed and now he has some very difficult decisions to make. Is love what we think it is or can it be something else? Bad summary, I know. NOW COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Call me crazy, its okay. I already know. This is a request some of my friends asked for at Anime Central. Apparently, they were upset with me for ditching Sora for Cloud. So here I am trying to combine. We'll see how it works. I'm gonna attempt to make this one a little more graphic than what I usually do, hence the M rating. I don't know if it will get that detailed but we'll see.

As always, please review and suggestions are very welcome.

So, uh, I now own an Axel plushie! Still working on the actual rights to the series but I will triumph!

Past love, meet new love

A lone boy sat on the stone wall, swinging his legs over the side. A pensive expression marred his normally cheerful countenance. The sun was low in the sky painting the landscape in reds and golds.

"Sora, what's wrong?"

He glanced over his shoulder and shrugged a little. "Nothing really, I guess."

Kairi placed hands on her hips clearly not believing a word. She said nothing but the stance was enough to make Sora squirm. He always broke under that stare.

He sighed. "Have you noticed Riku acting kinda, well strange?"

"No." She climbed up to sit beside him. "Why?"

"Dunno. Something's just been off the past few days." Sora hesitated but this was Kairi. He could tell her anything, couldn't he? "He's been… distant."

"Distant?" She echoed. What was he talking about? She hadn't noticed anything of the sort. Riku seemed just as social as he normally was. After the initial meeting with everyone, he fit right in. Cid and Aerith liked him and he learned quickly how to deal with Yuffie in her various modes. Even Leon got along well with him.

"Yeah." There was a light blush coloring Sora's cheeks. "He doesn't, well, he isn't as…"

"Oh! You mean he hasn't been wanting sex."

"Kairi!" He hissed, glancing about them for eavesdroppers.

"Oh, please, Sora. Don't act so shy. Everyone saw you two making out by the theater." She giggled.

"They what?"

"Now, when did Riku start acting different?" She totally ignored the question.

"A few days ago. The first week everything was fine. We were just, everything was normal between us." Sora shook his head. "So it's not being here or being around the others."

"Well, what changed around then?"

"Nothing I can think of." Sora thought aloud. "Yuffie was teasing us but that's normal. Merlin wanted us to help with some experiment, which we flat out refused. Cloud came back from wherever he was. I finally convinced Riku to visit Tron."

He suddenly looked over. "You don't think he's sore cause I beat him at Light Cycles, do you?"

"He wouldn't be denying himself sex. He'd be teasing you then leaving you all wound up until he felt you'd been tortured long enough."

"Yeah, you're right." Sora groaned. "See? I have no idea what I did!"

Kairi gave him a stern look. "What makes you think you have anything to do with it? Maybe Riku's just being moody. It wouldn't be the first time."

"I guess."

Sora was really worried about this and Kairi didn't know what she could do to help. She stood in the wall and began walking carefully along it. "Riku's just Riku. Give it another day and if he's still being frigid, I'll beat him up for you, okay?"

Sora laughed. He knew Kairi would do just that if she felt Riku was unjustifiably being reclusive. In fact she'd played a big role in pulling Riku back into the fold. Even though he knew she was still hurt by his and Riku's relationship, she was their biggest supporter.

"Come on, Sora." She hopped off the ledge. "Let's get some ice cream before Scrooge closes up for the night."

"Why hurry?" Sora twisted his body and slid off his perch. "We can always just break in later."

Kairi stared at him. "You little criminal."

"Oh he knows I do it." Sora waved her off. "I'm kinda like one of those guys you hire to test your security system."

"Okay." She giggled with a little shake of her head.

They walked together comfortably getting to Scrooge's just as he was closing. They bought ice cream for both of them and one to take to Riku. It wasn't very hot any more so they weren't concerned with it melting on the way.

The boys were staying with Leon and now Cloud while Kairi was at Aerith and Yuffie's. Supposedly Cid lived there too but no one ever saw him there outside meals. The purpose of this trip was actually to look into the possibility of moving to Radiant Garden.

Sora and Kairi would be finishing school soon and while the three had managed somehow to get through the awkwardness of the past year on Destiny Islands all three had decided they couldn't stay. Riku had definitely had it worse and Sora had fully expected Riku to leave for parts unknown the second he graduated.

That was when he'd finally broken down and confessed his feelings to the silver haired boy. He'd been absolutely terrified but he knew he couldn't chance Riku leaving without saying it. Riku had stared at him for a long minute, face unreadable before leaning and kissing him.

Riku hadn't left.

Leon and Riku were out on the front stoop. Leon was leaning against the wall and Riku propped up on the rail. Riku's face lit up upon seeing them. However, there was a trace of concern in his eyes. "There you are. I was worried I was going to have to go looking for you."

"We brought you ice cream." Sora bounded up the stairs. He whipped around, throwing his arms around the other and nearly causing him to fall off the rail. Thankfully, Kairi had nabbed the frozen treat from his hand before he took off.

"Where's mine?" Leon spoke calmly, a trace of a smirk on his face.

He was completely ignored by the now kissing couple. He shook his head. "I see where I stand."

Kairi came up the steps. "Probably at about the same level I do."

"I'd say it was safe to say you rank a bit higher than I."

They watched the two on the other side a moment longer before Kairi glanced at the tall brunette. "Got anything heavy in one of those pockets?"

He rummaged for a second before producing a marble sized stone.

"That'll work." She took it, aimed and flicked it at the back of Sora's head. It hit him right on target and he jerked away from Riku to glare at her. She only smiled sweetly. "Your ice cream's melting."

Leon snorted. Riku smirked with slightly bruised lips but Sora pouted. He stomped over, grabbed the dessert from her and brought it back to Riku.

The small group lounged on the porch, Kairi and Riku picking on Sora as Leon watched with a very faint smile. He shook his head at them on occasion and tried not to let the memories the three friends triggered rise up. It was painful sometimes to be around them but he still somehow enjoyed it.

"Riku! Stop being mean!"

Sora was trying to reach something that Riku held in his hand. Said hand was high above Riku's head and he was standing on the rail. Sora scrambled to climb up also. When he finally did, Riku slid down and was sitting on the wood, dropping object holding hand to the side.

Sora followed, straddling Riku's legs. He raised one hand to brace himself on the wall behind his boyfriend's head and the other reached for the lowered one. There was no way he was going to get anywhere this way.

Then a mischievous grin fell upon him and Riku frowned knowing that this couldn't be good. The straining hand ceased its efforts, instead moving up to rest on Riku's chest. It slowly traced along it, Riku refusing to look anywhere but at Sora's face.

"Riku's in trouble now." Kairi rolled her eyes.

Sora continued running his fingertip. Then ever so slowly, it moved up to Riku's neck and lingered, playing with pale skin below his collar. As this was happening, Riku pursed his mouth just a tiny bit. "It won't work this time, Sora."

Sora said nothing, bringing fingers to Riku's ear, tracing the lobe and flicking at strands of hair. He shifted in Riku's lap, drawing himself closer. Riku bit his lip but remained cool.

Suddenly, Riku groaned and his head fell back. He let go of whatever he'd been holding and grabbed hold of Sora's legs. His eyes narrowed at Sora, dangerous and lustful. "You are so going to pay for that."

"I hope so."

"Ugh! You two are so twisted." Kairi complained. "I can't tell who's in charge ever."

Leon raised an eye in amusement. Out on the street, a blonde man was coming up. "Hey, Cloud."

The new man lifted his head, taking in the scene before him. When he reached the pair on the rail, his lower lip twitched and something in his eyes changed. He said nothing and entered the house.

"Hello to you, too." Kairi said dryly.

Riku stared at the closed door. Sora frowned and nudged him. "You okay?"

The silver haired teen shook his head, clearing himself of whatever it was he had gone into. "Yeah, but you won't be for long."

Sora eeped and scrambled away from Riku. There was the slightest of hesitations before he hopped off and chased the brunette inside. Some banging and a few shrieks could be heard.

A minute later, Cloud stalked back out the door with sword.

"Where are you going?" Kairi called out.

"Training."

He headed quickly out of sight. Well that seemed odd even for Cloud. Kairi looked behind her and it seemed Leon was thinking along the same line.

"Is it just me, or is Cloud kinda acting like an ex-boyfriend being forced to watch their ex being with someone else?" She asked.

Leon studied the road Cloud had left down. He nodded a little, a frown tugging at his lower face. "He is."

"Sora said earlier that Riku has been acting a bit off for a few days now." Kairi mused. "That's about when Cloud returned. You don't think…"

"No one knows what Cloud was doing most of the time he was gone. He spent a lot of time at the Coliseum but that's pretty much all he's said."

"Riku doesn't talk about what happened to him either." The two looked at each other.

"It could be possible." Leon conceded.

"Something tells me things are about to get really complicated."


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, be nice guys. As you'll see, Kairi's prior comment about things getting complicated is probably an understatement.

Please tell me what you think of the writing and actions here. I'm trying to find the balance between detailed and smutty.

Love to everyone who reviews and appreciation to those who read.

"Riku, stop it!" Sora half shrieked as his stomach was mercisly attacked by the older teen. Having finally caught Sora, it didn't seem Riku was going to release him any time soon. Not that Sora really minded.

Riku continued tickling his boyfriend's weak spot. He paused only to laugh at Sora's half-hearted protests. The boy squirmed beneath him, writhing just so that Riku soon wasn't content with the innocent tickle fest.

Still distracting Sora with one hand, he moved the other to caress barely exposed hip. Sora twisted a bit in reaction. Riku grinned a little. He let up his attack with his fingers, bending down to let his mouth drift across bare skin.

Sora groaned softly. He let his own hands fall to his sides, simply relaxing under Riku's lips. He could never get enough of the silver haired boy's touch. He was a total glutton for tactile sensation and Riku made it a point to give Sora as much as he could.

Riku moved up, hiking Sora's shirt up further to nearly completely expose Sora's torso. A gentle prompt to raise his shoulders and the shirt was gone. Then Riku really went to work, hands and mouth working together until Sora was steadily moaning.

Running his tongue up the center of Sora's chest, Riku stopped at the top so he could give the brunette a long, lingering kiss. Pulling away, he moved on to Sora's neck.

"Riku, nugh, I don't think Leon…" Sora weakly protested.

"You want to stop?" Riku pressed his hips down.

"No." Sora gasped. "But maybe, the floor would be better than, ahh, Leon's bed."

"True." Riku agreed, completely stopping all action and climbing off the smaller boy. He turned back only to be pounced. He stumbled to the floorboards, Sora straddling him and going straight for his ears. He nibbled and sucked each one all the while rolling his hips.

Over the next few minutes, Riku's clothes were removed and as he worked frantically to finish discarding Sora of his, managed to flip their positions. He loved seeing the younger one writhing beneath him, face flushed. He was so different than-

"Riku!" Sora cried out as their bodies joined. There was frantic movement and the not so muted sounds of ecstasy before it ended in a whirlwind of sensation. Riku fell lightly onto Sora's body and they lay there letting their bodies cool and breath settle.

"I love you."

Sora lifted his head a little to frown down at Riku. Something about how he said that disturbed him. It was almost like he was reassuring himself. "What's wrong, Riku?"

"Nothing." Riku countered quickly. "I'm not allowed to say I love you any more?"

"Of course you can." Sora ran his fingers through silver layers.

"We should probably get out of here before Leon comes in." Riku chuckled. "I doubt he'd appreciate finding us like this."

"Yeah." Sora agreed and Riku slid off him and began collecting clothes. "I hope we didn't bother Cloud too much."

Riku froze mid-bend. A pained look crossed his face for a brief moment. "Yeah."

Sora made note of Riku's reaction. Clearly whatever was up with Riku, it had something to do with Cloud. As far as he knew, the two had never met before this visit. Did Riku simply not like Cloud?

He followed Riku up, got dressed and the pair left the room. The house was absolutely quiet and a quick check outside revealed that Leon and Kairi had left. Leon had probably decided to walk her to the other house. That meant they had a little more time to themselves. Since returning, Cloud had rarely been seen, sticking to his room when room.

Sora figured he could get some cuddle time in. He tugged on Riku's hand. "Come sit with me."

"Not now, Sora." Riku managed to snag his arm back. "I'm getting a drink, you want one?"

"Okay." Sora sat alone on the couch dejectedly.

Riku left for the kitchen and when he returned, handed over a bottle of water. He didn't even look at Sora. What the hell was with this?

Riku settled himself in the chair near the bookshelves and stared out the window. Sora knew that Riku had again retreated to somewhere he couldn't follow. Their relationship was frustrating as all hell. Sora knew he loved Riku and that Riku loved him. So what was getting in the way? There was this barrier between them that Sora couldn't find a way to break through.

"Hey, Riku?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you, too."

Riku looked at him. He slowly stood and came over to sit beside him. He wrapped an arm around Sora's small shoulders and drew him close. Kissing the mess of spikes, he murmured into the brown hair. "I'm sorry, Sor. I haven't been a very good boyfriend lately, have I?"

"I just wish you'd tell me what was bothering you."

Riku let out a long breath. "I'm not really sure but it's something I need to work out for myself. Please, just be patient with me, okay?"

"Always."

Sora fell asleep wrapped in Riku's arms and he was content to simply stay there, holding him. He leaned his head back however and stared at the ceiling. He had no reason for it but he really hadn't been expecting Cloud to be here. He knew this was Cloud's home base but the man had spent such little time here, it hadn't seemed likely they would cross paths.

But the fates had cursed him. He should have known better. Now he had this strange complicated situation than he knew needed to be resolved sooner rather than later. But before he could even attempt that, he needed to get himself settled.

The door creaked open and Riku turned his face. Leon walked in barely glancing at the pair on the couch. "My bed better not smell of sex."

"It doesn't."

"Good. Sora actually asleep?"

Riku did not like that question, especially in that tone. "Yeah."

"What the deal with you and Cloud?" Leon folded his arms, leaning on one of the table chairs.

"Deal?"

"Don't play dumb. The two of you know each other somehow."

Riku sighed. He was going to have to say something or risk a Gunblade to the face. "Okay, yeah. We've met before, back when he was working for Hades."

Leon leveled his eyes on him, knowing there was more to it than that. When Riku didn't volunteer any more information, he placed two fingers to his forehead, almost as warding of a headache. "Look, whatever it is between you two, fix it. This animosity can't continue."

"I know."

"I'm going to bed. If Cloud comes back, tell him he still has to help me in the morning."

"Cloud left?"

"Yeah. I have a hard time believing you didn't hear the door slam. Said he was going to train."

"Oh." Riku glanced down at the sleeping teen before him.

"He's loved you a long time, even if he didn't know it." Leon commented softly. "We all knew by how determined he was to find you."

Riku found himself smiling a little.

"Figure out what you really want, Riku." Leon moved toward his bedroom. "Some of us are waiting for it."

What did that mean? Riku watched Leon disappear. That was a very strange sentence. He couldn't begin to figure what the man meant by it.

Carefully sliding out from underneath Sora, Riku stood. Making up his mind, he re-positioned his lover to lay on the sofa. He pulled a blanket over him then quietly left the house.

He made his way through town, down the winding streets past Zero district. He still knew the layout of this world as well as he did Destiny Islands. He knew exactly where to go.

Reaching the river, he walked along side it until he reached a few large boulders. He moved around them and stepped up to the man sitting on the bank. Sitting beside him, they stared at the rushing water in silence.

"Why are you here?" The blonde's voice was soft.

"We need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"You don't think so?" Riku touched the man's exposed shoulder and turned him toward him. Then he leaned in and kissed him hard. The older man returned after the slightest of hesitations, reaching up a hand to cup Riku's face.

They pulled apart and Riku stared directly into Cloud's eyes. "I'd say we have a ton to talk about."


	3. Chapter 3

Lots of hits but few reviews. What's up with that? I don't know yet how this one's gonna end so I'll leave to you people: Cloud/Riku or Riku/Sora? And if Riku/Sora then Leon/Cloud?

I want your input!!!!!!!!!!!

If I didn't say before, I don't own these guys, I'm just torturing- I mean playing with them. (That really doesn't sound much better, does it?

_Please review??_

Cloud turned away with only a touch of guilt. "It's over. We agreed."

"Yeah." Riku looked out over the water. "So what's this then?"

The question could have been answered multiple ways. It all depended on what they decided _this_ was. They sat quietly together, the bubbling of the river and some odd nighttime noises invading the background.

"You got what you wanted." Cloud softly spoke with a bit of bitterness. "Sora loves you."

"Well you don't need to sound so happy about it." Riku muttered.

"How am I supposed to feel about it, Riku?" Cloud shifted to face him. His voice was slightly raised but tightly controlled other wise. "You got Sora, everything worked out for you. Just, be happy and don't worry about me."

He looked away. "I'm not worth it."

Riku tackled him. He pinned the smaller man down and punched him in the jaw. Cloud grunted and managed to throw Riku to the side. Then he was up on his knees and pummeling the silver haired teen. Twisting, Riku ducked under the fists and he re-gained the upper-hand, again shoving Cloud's back to the ground.

Cloud lifted his shoulders, trying to shrug away but this time Riku was prepared and he simply tightened his knees on Cloud's hips. A few more half-hearted attempts and Cloud was left glaring up with fury.

Riku's eyes were equally intense. "Don't you ever say something like that again. You are worth…"

"What?" Cloud spat out. "Not as much as Sora."

Riku stared down into clear blue eyes. Cloud's eyes always gave him away, at least to Riku. From the day they met, he'd been able to read those blues easily. He relaxed his hold. "You lied. You lied about wanting to end it."

Cloud didn't speak nor did he look away.

"Bastard." Riku got off of him and stalked a few feet away. He tightened his jaw, body tensing. "Why, Cloud?"

"You love Sora. I always knew you'd never love me like that."

Riku studied the rocky terrain. "You have no idea how wrong you are, Cloud."

He marched off, not sure if he was angry at Cloud or himself for not realizing… he slowed his pace a bit but refused to stop. How the hell did he get himself into this situation? He really thought that finally things were going to settle and life would fall into something normal.

"What the hell do I do now?" He asked the empty street.

He couldn't think about this now. There was too much racing through his mind and his heart, well he was certain if he tried listening to it now he would not like what he heard. It felt like he was being ripped in two.

"Riku! There you are." Sora ran up and wrapped his arms around the taller boy tightly. "What are you doing out here so late?"

"Just felt like taking a walk." He prayed Sora didn't hear the tremor in his voice. Sora could be so oblivious to things going on around him but when it came to Riku, he seemed to pick up everything.

Sora frowned but quickly buried his head into Riku's shoulder. "Don't worry me like that again."

He sounded so scared. "Sora, you had that dream again, didn't you?"

The spiky brunette nodded against his shoulder. "Then I woke up and you weren't there…"

Riku sighed, wrapping his arms tightly around Sora. "I'm sorry, love."

"Z'okay." He nuzzled closer. "I found you like I always do."

Riku smiled a bit, kissing the top of Sora's head. His Sora always found him, literally and figuratively. He didn't know what he'd have done if he didn't have Sora. The boy was his light, his everything.

So what did that make Cloud?

"Can we go home now? I wanna go back to sleep with you beside me."

"Sure, Sora. Let's go."

Back at the house, Sora lead Riku to Leon's room. The man had offered it up to them after making them swear to no sex in his bed, a promise they had managed to successfully keep. At first, he had relocated to the couch. Riku hadn't felt too bad about it after he and Sora had taken a few naps on it. It was a really comfy couch.

When Cloud had returned, however, he insisted Leon stay with him in his room. Leon had been oddly hesitant but Sora somehow convinced him. Just like Sora some how got everyone to do things they otherwise wouldn't.

They stripped down to their boxers and upon getting into bed, Sora immediately snuggled up to Riku. Riku smiled to himself, still in disbelief how easily they had both slipped into their roles as lovers. It was almost as if no real transition had been needed. Kairi had commented that they had been acting like a couple almost since their return to Destiny Islands.

"Hey, Riku?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think Leon likes Cloud?"

Riku fought hard not to stiffen. "Why do you ask?"

"I dunno." Sora shrugged. "It's just this feeling I get. A weird vibe comes off Leon whenever Cloud's around or we talk about him."

"I'm pretty sure Leon's straight." Man, did he sound defensive.

A light giggle. "So was I. Look at me now."

Riku sighed inwardly. If what Sora suspected was in any way true, it might be a blessing if the two hooked up. He certainly wouldn't worry so much about Cloud being alone in the worlds. He had to shove down the sudden ache in his chest that came with that thought.

"Maybe we should try getting them together."

No, no, no, no, no, kept repeating in Riku's head. He sternly told himself to shut up. "That's probably not a good idea, Sora. You know how those two are better than I do." At least he did Leon.

"Yeah, your right." Sora shifted up a little to drop a light kiss on Riku's lips.

Riku held him in place and deepened the kiss, working just a bit of tongue into. When he finally let Sora go, the boy breathed out contently and again snuggled into Riku's side. Riku wrapped an arm around him and stared at the ceiling until Sora fell asleep.

That was when he let the weight of the situation fall on him and he blinked back tears. He was conflicted. He had truly believed he had gotten over Cloud. The break up had been mutual and almost expected. But being around him again stirred up all those feelings again.

He glanced down at the boy in his arms. He _loved_ Sora. Loved him so much he almost couldn't stand it.

How in all the worlds was he supposed to choose between them? Brilliant, Riku. You got yourself into a hell of a mess this time.


	4. Chapter 4

Here's the challenge, guys. Several have mentioned to me on various reviews the desire to see some Leon/Sora. Make me see it!!!!!! Cause that is one pairing I REALLY don't get. That and Leon/Yuffie but that I can at least wrap my head around. So if you want Leon/Sora, convince me. Unless I feel comfortable with it, I won't do it.

So let's hear it!!

Despite having been awake a majority of the night, Riku still managed to wake up before Sora. As usual, the smaller one had managed to completely entangle himself with sheets and Riku. Sora slept like a log trying to twist off a tree in a tornado. Thankfully, Riku had figured out early on, like before they were dating, how to remove himself from the mass.

He slipped free and padded out to the kitchen following the smell of fresh coffee. Leon was busy at work in the kitchen and Cloud was leaning on the outside of the breakfast bar. Leon nodded but Cloud barely managed a quick eye flick at him.

Riku sighed inwardly. Yeah, this wasn't going to work. He was going to have to figure this out fast for everyone's sake. "Morning."

"Should we expect to see Sora any time soon?" Leon asked, noting Cloud's tiny flinch.

"Huh?" Riku glanced away from the blonde. "Oh, I don't know. He had a nightmare last night and he's usually really groggy after those."

Leon nodded. "Nightmare might be a weak description. I remember a few of those. The only thing that calmed him was to hold him till he fell asleep again."

"He's been through a lot." Riku poured himself some coffee adding a generous amount of vanilla chai creamer. "I'm in complete awe that he's come through all this and he's still basically the same as he was before."

"He's a lucky kid." Cloud muttered.

Leon again found himself studying the older man. Cloud had said those exact words before about Sora, in nearly the same wistful tone. Something inside twisted.

"Yeah, he's just… amazing." Riku stirred his cup vigorously.

A moment passed, then Cloud pushed himself away from the counter. "I'm going to work."

As he walked out, Leon frowned at the back of his head. Cloud was willingly going to work? No complaints, no protests, no 'can't I do something else'? "He is really off today."

Riku turned to him sharply. "What do you mean?"

"Something happened yesterday."

Riku noticeably tensed.

In an uncharacteristic display of anger, Leon slammed a hand on the counter. "All right, Riku. What the hell is going on?"

Riku really wasn't ready to answer than. He should find an excuse to leave the house, stay somewhere else until Sora was ready to leave. There were hundreds of worlds out there and plenty of them would be suitable for them to live. It didn't have to be Radiant Garden. There were too many memories here any way.

He breathed a huge sigh of relief when Sora shuffled into the kitchen.

Unfortunately, Sora picked up right away on the tension. He grew deeply concerned and looked between the two. "What's wrong?"

"Ask your boyfriend." Leon nearly spat out as he stalked off. "I've got work to do."

"Riku?" He asked as the front door slammed.

Riku shook his head. "It's just an argument. I was being a jerk and managed somehow to get the normally stoic Leon mad at me. I'll take care of it so don't worry."

"You must have really out done yourself." Sora was still clearly upset. He really hated conflict.

"Yeah." Riku studied his mug. Anything to keep from looking at Sora's worried face.

"Is there food? I'm hungry." Sora grinned though it was still a little faded.

"What do you want?" Riku turned to the fridge, thankful for the distraction. "I'll make you anything you want."

"Pancakes?" Sora asked hopefully.

"Sure. I'll even give them ears."

"No, don't do that."

"But you loved those when we were little."

"Yeah, well that's before I knew the worlds where actually ruled by a mouse. Now it's like I'm eating King Mickey and that's just," He shuddered.

"Yeah, I hear ya." Riku went about gathering ingredients and making batter.

"Hey, Riku?" Sora's voice was hesitant.

"Yeah?"

"Look, if there's gonna be problems here, we don't have to stay. I know Kairi won't really mind either way. We could go to Twilight Town or something. I just want you to be happy."

Riku stopped and stared at him. Sora was giving him an even, steady gaze. He knew the brunette really wanted to stay here and he felt a wave of love wash through him at the willingness Sora displayed to do anything Riku wanted. "Sora, as long as you're with me, I'm happy anywhere."

Sora grinned and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. As soon as he turned away, however, it dropped. There was definitely something wrong and Riku was doing a lousy job hiding it. Giving how perfectly he normally covered up his troubles, Sora knew this was big.

He was just going to have to wait until Riku finally confessed and hope he could deal with whatever it was.

Leon paced through the bailey like a caged, well, lion. He meant to go to work, started heading in that direction. Then turned around and now here he was, accomplishing nothing and worse of all brooding. He didn't brood.

He ran a hand through his layered hair and swung his Gunblade in frustration. What was fucking wrong with him? This was not him. He didn't get worked up over petty things like people's relationships, at least not if they didn't interfere with the restoration. Let them work those things out themselves.

So why was he getting so agitated over whatever it was between Cloud and Riku? It had nothing what so ever to do with him. Yeah, Cloud was moodier than usual but it hadn't stopped him from doing what he was supposed to be doing. And really didn't even know Riku.

"Hey, Leon!"

Great. "What, Yuffie?"

"Why aren't you at the castle? Cid's been lookin' everywhere for you."

"Why?"

"Dunno." She shrugged, skipping around him. "Whatcha doin'?"

He didn't bother answering her. It would only lead to more questions and he really didn't want to deal with the girl. He was already getting a migraine.

"Fine," She huffed. "Be you're usual grumpy self. Ya know, someday that emotionless attitude of yours is gonna turn on you."

She jumped off the stair rail and disappeared.

Leon kicked at a loose stone and cursed to himself. Better see what Cid wanted.

Cloud sat in Aerith's bedroom wondering just how he got there. One minute he was walking down the street toward the work site, next he was being hauled in for assistance. Aerith and Kairi were now clearly scrambling for a reason for that assistance.

"We were wondering if you could, uh…"

"Well… this dresser." Kairi suddenly pointed. "I don't like where it's at. Could you move it over there? It's too darn heavy for us."

"You dragged me in here to move a dresser?" Cloud raised an eye. "That's what couldn't wait?"

Kairi giggled nervously. "Well, you know how finicky us girls can be."

"Right." He gave Aerith a hard look. "Now, what's this really about? I don't have time for games."

The flower girl folded her arms. Fine, if Cloud wanted to be that way. "How do you know Riku?"

"What makes you think I know him?"

"Because you act like a jilted ex-lover whenever you're around him." Kairi explained bluntly.

"I don't-" He turned to leave but Aerith stepped over blocking the way.

"Answer the question, Cloud." She spoke sternly.

There was no way he could lie to her. She had the inhuman ability to always know if he did. Then she'd give him that disappointed look of hers and he'd feel guilty for the next week. "I met him a while back. We were both at some meeting Maleficent was having."

Hopefully, that was that. They'd figure that Riku was just a reminder of his time working for Hades, which everyone knew he still felt terrible about, and that was the reason he was uncomfortable around the teen. He forgot just who he was talking to.

"Did you date him?"

Cloud shifted.

"Oh, Cloud," Aerith sighed. She came over and hugged him. "Why haven't you said anything?"

He pulled away. "Because it doesn't matter anymore."

He turned and faced the window but kept his head down.

Kairi held her hand to her mouth. "You love him, don't you?"

He tried to glare at the girl, he really did. But one second looking at those concerned violet eyes and he found himself nodding. She was a Princess of Heart.

"Cloud-"

"I know, okay?" He was back to the window. "He's happy with Sora. I had my chance and let it go. I just have to accept that."

The females shared a quick look. Both knew Cloud wasn't getting over this any time soon. He held on to emotional things far too tightly, good and bad.

"Look, Cloud." Kairi began slowly. "I feel like I'm somehow betraying both my best friends by saying this but I think you need to tell Riku that you still love him."

"He knows."

Aerith dropped her arms. "Does Sora know anything about his?"

"I don't know." Cloud replied. "I'd rather he didn't."

Kairi stared at him incredulously. "But he has to know, if for no other reason than he's Riku's boyfriend now and your friend! Do have any idea how hurt he's gonna be that both of you have been keeping this secret from him?"

"I just…" He trailed off. "It's up to Riku to tell him whatever he wants Sora to know. I'm not getting involved and I'm asking you not to either. If their relationship is going to work, Riku has to choose to make it."

"You're waiting for him to come back to you, aren't you?" Aerith was clearly troubled. "You're just going to wait for their relationship to fall apart then offer yourself as Riku's support."

"No." Cloud bit out rather quickly. "Riku has loved Sora since before I met him. I always knew I was just a substitute."

He was done with this. He turned for the door and this time Aerith didn't stop him.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for the support on this one, guys. The poll is still open and will be until I write the decision. I will say this, most of you who have voted are gonna get your wish.

Please keep up with the reviews. This one's proving harder to write than I thought it would be.

Sora walked beside Riku through the construction site toward the outer section of the castle. Leon had asked Riku earlier if he would be willing to look through some files he had located in the city's computer that no one, not even Tron could access. The suspicion was they were Xehanort's and the hope was since Riku had insight on him he might be able to get into them.

While they always walked closely together, they never held hands or otherwise gave any appearance of being a couple in public. It wasn't very accepted on the Islands and they had just developed the habit everywhere. It felt more natural.

Upon arriving in Ansem's study they quickly realized there was no one else there. A brief search of the corridors to the computer room revealed them just as abandoned. "Huh? Well that's weird."

"Maybe he got held up." Riku shrugged.

"Maybe." Sora sounded doubtful. He turned to the terminal. "Hey, Tron!"

"Greetings, User Sora. How can I help you?"

"Leon hasn't been around, has he?"

"No."

"Humm. Oh, well. Can you pull up those files we weren't able to crack open?"

"Of course." The display clicked on and a rather lengthy list scrolled along the left side. "These are the one's believed to be the apprentice's."

"Thanks, Tron." Sora turned to Riku. "Well, have fun."

"Right." He responded dryly, placing himself before the screen.

After about an hour, Riku was able to figure out the first layer of encryption. There was still no sign of Leon. "This place needs a fucking chair."

"I'll find you one." Sora rubbed Riku's shoulders and ran off.

Riku sighed and continued his work. He was truly grateful for this mind-numbing project. It left his brain no room to think and he felt rather relieved to be standing alone for the moment. He could just relax a little, not worrying about saying or doing something that would only end in disaster.

"Where's Leon?" That voice still did crazy things to his stomach.

"Don't know." He kept his voice as neutral as possible. "He hasn't shown."

After a minute, Riku risked a glance over his shoulder but Cloud was gone. He slapped a hand on the keyboard, earning him a warning from the computer to not do that again. This wasn't going to work. There was no way he could keep this up.

If they stayed much longer, he was going to break.

On his way back with a folding chair, Sora ran into Cloud clearly coming from where he was headed. Something about the man's usually almost emotionless expression was nagging at Sora. He looked sad. "Hey, Cloud."

Cloud merely looked at him as he passed.

Okay, Cloud was obviously in one of his moods. Sora shrugged it off and continued on his way. Upon entering the computer room he paused. Riku had both hands on the console with his head faced down toward the keyboard. He looked worn.

Sora quietly set the chair along the wall. Then he came over and wrapped his wiry arms around Riku's waist. The other stiffened for a moment before relaxing into the hold. They didn't speak but Sora knew he had helped him.

When he let go, Riku managed a little smile at him. "This is really tough."

Something told Sora he wasn't just referring to the computer project. "Just take your time. We're not in a hurry."

_Maybe you aren't._ Riku only nodded.

"Here." Sora brightened. He hauled the chair over, setting it up just behind Riku.

"Thanks."

A few more hours passed and another layer of encryption was removed. Sora sat on the floor beside Riku, content just watching him. He admired how focused Riku became on anything he did. He was totally attentive to the task at hand, something Sora was never good at. Heck, he was known to get distracted during sex.

"I think my brain's fried." Riku announced, dropping his head in his hands to rub at his temples. "It looks like there's another three layers but I don't think I'll get any further today."

"Well, you got a heck of a lot further than any of us did." Sora stood and took over the temple massage for him. "I wonder what happened to Leon."

"Who knows? Probably got held up with the library project. Didn't they say there was a snag with it?"

"Oh, yeah." Riku was really tense. "Was Cloud here?"

That tension increased a hundred fold. "Why?"

"I saw him on the way back." Sora explained. "He looked kinda sad."

Riku didn't say anything.

Sora frowned. Riku was definitely keeping something from him and it had something to do with Cloud. He had no idea what it could be though. Maybe they'd crossed paths while Cloud was working for Hades. It could just be that each reminded the other of a time they'd rather forget.

"Dinner will be soon." Sora whispered in Riku's ear. "We should probably get going."

Riku nodded agreement. "Hey, Tron? We're done here."

"Yes, User Riku. I shall shut down the terminal. Thank you for your input."

"Bye, Tron." Sora called out as the young couple walked out.

They made their way through narrow streets, again quiet. Sora did his best not to worry but he knew something was terribly wrong. This chasm had formed between Riku and himself and it seemed to be growing by the hour. It pained him deeply to know Riku was withdrawing from him yet again.

He needed Riku and he thought Riku needed him. Riku said he needed him but what if it wasn't true? Maybe this relationship was a mistake, a misunderstanding of intense emotion that they mistook for love. No, that couldn't be it. He loved Riku and Riku loved him. So what was the problem?

"At least we don't have to shower before dinner." Riku mumbled, clearly trying to find something to break the silence.

"Yeah, though I still want to know where Leon's been all day."

"Maybe he decided to take a day off."

"Yeah, right." Sora laughed. "And Yuffie being hyper is just a phase."

Both chuckled and the mood became decidedly better. Neither one liked when there was tension between them. Upon reaching Aerith's, Riku unexpectedly turned Sora toward him and kissed him roughly.

Sora pulled back after and looked at him quizzically. "What was that for?"

"Just felt like it." He took the smaller hand into his and they climbed the few steps into the house.

Kairi was setting the table. She looked up and paused for a second before a big, obviously fake grin crossed her face. "Oh, hey, guys."

The pair had identical frowns. Sora stepped forward intent on helping her. "What's with you?"

"Nothing." She replied, again too enthusiastically. As Sora passed her to get napkins, she narrowed her eyes at Riku. The glare was gone the second Sora looked back her way.

Riku watched her closely as she and Sora finished with the table. Every opportunity she got she shot a glare in his direction. She was positively charming toward Sora.

Riku felt panic rise in his chest. She knew something. She had to. There was no other explanation for her sudden behavior but had did she find out, unless… no, he wouldn't have talked to her about it.

Aerith came out of the kitchen holding a large pot. Apparently, some kind of stew was the menu for tonight. Wait, Aerith. If she had suspected something, she might have confronted Cloud and he knew Cloud couldn't lie to that woman.

This was bad.

"Leon and Cid are going to be late." Aerith tossed the pot holders on the side board. "Anyone seen Cloud?"

"Not since this afternoon." Sora answered.

Aerith and Kairi exchanged looks before glancing at Riku. Oh gods, they both knew.

Yuffie chose that moment to burst through the front door. "I'm here! Where's the food cause I am starved!"

They sat down to dinner which turned out to be jambalaya. Yuffie chattered on not noticing that no one else was listening. The tension was thick enough to slice with the Buster sword. Only Yuffie seemed to be oblivious to it.

As clean up began, Aerith had Yuffie bring containers out to Leon and Cid and asked Sora to help her with dishes. Once they were gone, Kairi whirled on Riku and slapped him.

Riku simply took it. Her small hand didn't do much more that sting but the pain in his chest that flared with it was more than enough to compensate.

"You're a jerk." She hissed, angrier that Riku had ever seen her. She used to yell at him till she was red in the face the first year back on the Island whenever he would disappear for days without word and it would send Sora into a horrible bout of depression. He was unrepentant for leaving then and Sora always stopped her from hitting him beyond the opening slaps.

Somehow this quiet snarl so that Sora wouldn't overhear was much worse.

"How dare you play with Sora's heart like this! Do you even care how much he loves you? How much he's sacrificed for you? My god, Riku, what the hell is wrong with you?"

All he could do was look away.

"And Cloud. Look what you're doing to him! Do you have any idea what it's like for him to see the one he loves flaunt around his new relationship, not even acknowledging the former one? I cannot believe you want this, Riku!"

"I don't!" He nearly shouted. He paused to collect himself. "I don't want this and I'm going to do something about it. Just please give me some time."

"More time won't make it any easier." Kairi argued, placing hands on her hips. "I loved Sora too but I stepped back because I knew he loved you and I believed you loved him."

"I do love him."

"Do you, Riku? Or do you love Cloud because there is obviously something still there between you two and it isn't fair to any of you to keep this hidden."

"I know." Riku slumped. "I know all this Kairi."

"Then bloody fix it!"

Sora walked in and paused to look between the two. "Uh, is everything alright?"

"Yeah," Kairi answered. Riku nodded.

"Okay." He said uncertainly, grabbing the discarded oven mitts and heading back for the kitchen.

The second he was gone, Kairi pointed a finger into Riku's chest. "You tell him everything or I will and if you break his heart so help me, Riku, I will kill you."

She turned and went into the kitchen.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey, guys. You're gonna hate me again. Just a warning. By the way, I'm going to be in FL starting Friday (Star Wars weekend at Disney for my birthday!!!!) So I don't when I'll be updating again. Kinda depends of how much internet access I can get.

Please leave me good messages for this one. I'm not too sure with how it turned out.

Thank you.

Leon walked into the darkened bar deciding that he simply couldn't go home yet. He didn't want to deal with any of them, especially Riku. There was just something about that boy's silence that was pissing the hell out of him. And Cloud was being equally secretive.

Leon had his suspicions. Cloud was clearly hiding something from all of them as was Riku. He saw the poorly disguised glances and brief frowns. Those two were more than acquaintances but all he had were these little damning incidents to support the idea.

The day had started badly and only got progressively worse. The whole library project was fucked up and they were majorly behind schedule on three other projects. Then sometime in the early afternoon he was informed that Cloud never showed at his project.

That had been it. In a totally uncharacteristic display of frustration, Leon had pulled out the Gunblade and proceeded to hack the nearest wall to pieces. Thankfully it hadn't been a support wall. He silently cursed Cloud for making him feel so out of control.

He didn't know exactly what it was he was feeling toward the man but it was definitely troubling him. Not to mention distracting. He'd realized rather soon after meeting Cloud that he found the guy attractive and he was secure enough with himself to be okay with that. He'd been attracted to other men in his life but never pursued it further. Not that Irvine hadn't given him plenty of opportunities. That man would fuck just about any one.

Then slowly, he had become friends with the quiet blonde. He had a reserved nature that Leon admired yet underneath there was so much intensity. It burned in his eyes and Leon began finding himself wanting to be the receiver of that burning gaze.

Leon shook his head. He did not want to be thinking about any of this. He was going to sit at the furthest corner of the bar, drink enough to get that pleasant no pain buzz then go home and immediately hit the sack.

The fates had cursed him.

There on the exact stool he planned to wallow in his misery in, was Cloud.

Trying to remain casual, he walked over and sat beside him. The man didn't look or speak at him but Leon knew he was aware of him. There was a new guy behind the bar that Leon instantly didn't like. He had this big fake smile, as if he honestly thought everyone loved him. He tried talking to Leon and it wasn't until he reached out, grabbed the guy's shirt and very clearly told him to shut up that he silently went, got the double shot of whisky, and left Leon alone.

"Faye has the night off." Cloud muttered.

"I see that."

They sat in silence, Leon swirling the amber liquid for a few seconds before throwing it back. Cloud had two empty glasses before him and was fingering a third. Leon was fairly certain there had been more before those.

"So this where you've been hiding all day?" Leon tried not to sound angry.

"Not all day." Cloud replied, lifting his glass. "I'll make it up tomorrow."

"Whatever." He really didn't care any more. He was tired of dealing with Cloud and his whining. If the man didn't want to help, he wasn't going to force him.

"Don't whatever me." The blonde snapped quietly.

Leon motioned for another double whisky.

Cloud stared as the brunette swallowed it down as quickly as the first. "What's wrong with you?"

Leon raised an eye.

"You don't usually just down liquor like that."

"It's been a rotten day." He shrugged then nodded to the empty glasses the bartender was now removing. "How many of those have you packed away?"

Cloud snorted. "Not nearly enough."

Another silence stretched. For the next hour, they sat there, slowly consuming more alcohol both clearly trying to drink their worries away. There was no way to tell just what was running through each of their minds. Leon took in far more than he planned and for every one he had, Cloud drank two.

"Well, you two clearly have some kind of problem." The overly happy bartender commented as he handed them each a beer. Both glared at him but the guy didn't take the hint. "You should be talking it out instead of sitting here in terse silence trying to ignore it."

In perfect unison, two hands shot out to grip opposite shoulders and pull, smashing the man's face into the bar. He cried out as his nose hit the surface. Once released, he raised his head and a thin trail of blood ran from his left nostril.

He ran off, shrieking about the crazy guys and lawsuits.

Hunk the bouncer came over and shook his head. "All right you two. Much as I like you and I know Tifa's your friend and all, but I'm cutting you off. Both of you go home and sleep it off."

Neither protested, standing carefully and walking past him. They both knew they'd regret their actions tomorrow and they'd definitely be hearing about this from Tifa when she found out but damnit if the prick didn't deserve it. He had been warned to leave them alone.

Riku had gone outside, not able to stand being in the house anymore. He knew if Kairi knew about this, Aerith did also. Why they hadn't simply gone and told Sora he didn't know. He knew Kairi was still upset about Sora's decision to be with him. She did her best to accept it but he knew it still hurt and this would be the perfect opportunity to break them up.

It was a good thing he was such a control freak now because he really just wanted to go get plastered right now and try to escape this whole mess. He couldn't risk slipping up and accidentally revealing things to Sora. Sora deserved to have Riku completely sober and in control when he learned the truth.

The door opened and Sora came out. He frowned at Riku and leaned against the opposite rail. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me, Riku." Sora's eyes were full of hurt and Riku almost confessed everything right then. He hated, hated seeing Sora in pain. _So why are you prolonging it?_

"I just have a lot on my mind."

"Is it Kairi?"

Riku shook his head with a trace of a grin. "No."

"She seems really mad at you for some reason." Sora pushed lightly.

"We had an argument but it's over now."

"Oh," Sora didn't look convinced.

Riku sighed and stepped closer to his boyfriend. He wrapped long arms around him. "Please don't worry. You know how much it bothers me."

"Yeah." Sora inhaled the pure scent of Riku, pressing the side of his face into his chest. He wasn't stupid. He knew something was going on with Riku. And he understood that Riku was hiding it because he was terrified of hurting Sora.

He loved Riku for that. It also irritated him to no end.

"Well, whatever it is just know I love you and I'm here for you." Sora whispered.

Riku gripped him a bit tighter, reaching up a hand to run through soft spikes of brown hair.

And hated himself for wishing they were blonde.

Cloud and Leon walked down the street toward their house. They stumbled just a bit but neither seemed to notice. Just before Aerith's, Cloud paused. Leon followed his gaze, seeing Riku holding Sora on the front porch.

The blonde man snarled before turning and stalking off in the opposite direction. Leon followed him, deciding it might be better for any potential passer-bys if Cloud wasn't alone. He was clearly pissed about something.

Again Leon found himself wondering what the deal with Cloud and Riku was.

They turned down a narrow alleyway, bypassing the market. A light rain had started and a steady trickle of water ran the side of the building. They're steps echoed softly, the sound deafened by the rain.

Suddenly Leon found himself pinned up against the wall. Intense blue eyes, filled with pain and fury bore into his before they closed and lips melded themselves to his. Fists held his shirt and kept him firmly in place.

He reached up to take hold of Cloud's face, returning the kiss just as frantically. Tongues were introduced and hands began moving to run along necks and shoulders and chest. Leon tugged urgently at the bottom of Cloud's black shirt all the while Cloud slipped his leather jacket off his shoulders.

Something whispered in the back of Leon's mind. This was wrong. Yes, he wanted Cloud. Wanted him so desperately it scared him. But more than that was that _feeling_.

He pushed the blonde away forcefully. "Cloud, stop."

Cloud simply came back, again trying to pin him. His eyes were glazed over with tears.

"Cloud." Leon spoke gently but managed to take hold of both the other man's wrists.

Cloud pounded his fists twice against Leon's chest before a broken sob escaped him and he fell heavily upon it. Leon slid down the wall taking Cloud with him. Then he held onto him as Cloud cried like he'd never be happy again.


	7. Chapter 7

Next chap, new developments. The more reviews the more motivated to update cause it's kind of a pain to do right now.

Next will be the confrontation between Leon and Riku so stay tuned.

Love you all.

Rain continued to run down the brick walls but Cloud's tears had finally ceased. Leon refused to release him however and after the first attempt, Cloud didn't try to pull away. He simply let the younger man hold him as he continued to shake a bit.

He knew he had to say something, give some explanation for his behavior but he had no words. It was as if all language had left him. Honestly, at the moment he never wanted to speak again. He was content to simply fade away right there in Leon's arms.

"Sorry." He finally murmured into Leon's shirt.

"Don't be." Leon assured him. "We all have a breaking point. You just reached yours."

Cloud sniffled. "I don't do this."

"Neither do I." Leon snorted. "You think I'd sit drenched in an alley, holding just any old guy? Any one else and I'd of either ignored them or told them to get over it."

Cloud lifted his head to look into stormy eyes. He spent a minute searching before a sad smile crossed his face. "Leon, I-"

"Don't." He was cut off. Leon dropped his arms, allowing Cloud to move if he wanted. "I get it."

"No you don't."

"Yes, I do." Leon shifted, forcing Cloud from his lap and stood. "You're in love with Riku."

He took a few steps forward and waited to see if Cloud would deny it. After a wrenching period of time, Leon turned back to face the blonde. Cloud was hunched down on the balls of his feet, staring at his hands between his knees.

"I'm so completely pathetic, aren't I?" Cloud muttered, almost to himself. "He's clearly moved on, is with the one he's really loved from the beginning and I'm still desperately hoping he'll come running back to me."

Leon didn't have a reply for that. Despite his leading statement, he hadn't been quite prepared for this open of an admission. He knew Riku had been the cause of Cloud's recent wave of depression and angst but to have him come out and say he was in love with the teenager was unexpected.

"Sora will hate me for this." Cloud let out a bitter laugh. "I hate me for this."

"Shut up." Leon suddenly snapped out.

Cloud stared at him.

"Riku knows how you feel about him, doesn't he?"

The blonde nodded.

"That self-centered bastard." Leon fumed. "I knew there was something I didn't like about that kid."

"Leon-"

"That arrogant little prick, going around with his new boyfriend and acting as if you meant nothing. Not even able to acknowledge there ever was something between you."

"Leon!" Cloud finally got his attention. "This isn't Riku's fault."

"Don't defend him, Cloud."

"I'm not. This is my own fault. I left him." Cloud explained softly. "I, I just want Riku to be happy."

"At your expense?" Leon ground out. "You really do have esteem issues."

Cloud didn't bother replying. He simply sat on the cold street letting water drip down his face from limp spikes of hair. He felt it somehow suited him.

"Come on." The younger man suddenly gently kicked him.

Cloud looked up.

"We're getting out of the rain." Leon explained.

The blonde slowly stood and followed. They ended up at the bailey. It was still cold but at least they were out of the rain. Cloud felt like he was in a daze and watched in a detached manner as Leon located a few stray pieces of two by four and odd ends of wood. He threw them together in the center of the floor and used a fire spell on them.

The heat felt good on his cold skin but he didn't move closer. Leon studied him a long moment before sighing. He did sit before the fire and gazed into the flames. "I'm really not too good with this emotional stuff."

Cloud managed a smirk. "Duh."

"Rinoa always said I'd regret not learning to open up. I tried. I tried so hard for her but, well it doesn't matter now." Leon blew out a sharp laugh. "And here I am trying to do it again for someone who's worse at this stuff than I am."

Cloud focused on Leon. He could see the slight lines around his mouth and the tension at his eyes that tugged ever so lightly at his scar. And somehow, he knew what was coming. "No, Leon. Please don't do this. I can't handle it."

"What's it going to take, Cloud?" Leon questioned harshly. "Why can't you see the positive things around you? There's so much good surrounding you but you don't notice it. There are people who care so much about you and you push them away. Now here you are focusing all your energy on some little prick who doesn't love you and probably never did."

"Don't say that." Cloud's voice was steel. "Do not ever speak of Riku like that. You don't know him and you know nothing about us."

"There is no us!" Leon raised his volume. "You left him, he moved on! It's over, Cloud."

"I know." The near whisper was back. "And I'm sorry that I'm hurting you too."

The brunette paused.

"I'm sorry you fell in love with someone as messed up as I am."

Without thinking, Leon was up and coming over to Cloud. He got on his knees before him and gently brushed his cheek. Cloud met his eyes easily, the pain and sadness clearly revealed. Leon leaned forward and kissed him. Cloud returned it. It was simple and sweet and both knew would likely never happen again.

Leon drew away, again meeting those intense blue eyes. "I don't regret loving you."

Cloud gave the barest of nods.

"You really love that brat."

Again the brief nod.

"Gods, I hate him." Leon muttered. "When did you last really talk to him?"

"The other night. A few hours after I left to train he came and found me."

"I knew that was a lie. Where did you go?"

"The river. That was our place. I was holed up in one of the shacks out there and it isn't too far from the castle. We always met up there." Cloud threw his head back. "It was only a few months but it feels like it was so much longer."

"When did you end it?"

"Shortly after Sora woke up. I knew a little about the whole Roxas thing and Riku still kind of remembered Sora so I knew of him even though I didn't actually have any memory of him. After Riku changed, I started realizing how much Sora had to mean to him. Once Sora was awake and everything came back I knew that Sora was the one Riku truly loved.

"Look at everything he willingly sacrificed for him. I can't compete with something that strong. They have an unbreakable bond and I won't place myself in the middle of it." Cloud choked out.

Leon didn't want to hear any of this but still he listened. It hurt terribly to see Cloud's pain and he wanted to somehow make it go away. The only way to do that it seemed was to bring Cloud and Riku back together. He didn't want to do that.

"It's all right. It has to be." Cloud concluded. "Like he said, we agreed."

This conversation was not endearing the silver haired teen to Leon at all. It was taking a great deal of restraint to not go find him and beat the ship out of him right now. It wouldn't help but Leon figured it would feel pretty damn nice.

Cloud had calmed down considerably over the past few hours and it was likely their houseguests would be asleep by now. The morning was going to suck but it was their house. Leon really liked saying that. Regardless of his and Cloud's relationship status, it would always be their house. He really was a closet sap.

He stood and held a hand out to Cloud. The blonde stared for a moment before taking it and also getting up. They wordlessly headed home walking side by side each lost in their own thoughts.

"I'm sorry about all this, Leon."

"It's not your fault."

They approached Aerith's and Cloud slowed down a bit. He studied the front of the house for a moment, focusing on the one lit room upstairs.

"Maybe you should stay with her tonight." Leon suggested.

"No. I want to be with you." Cloud said firmly. "Aerith is great for advice and a sympathetic ear but I don't want that right now. I need you."

Leon couldn't name the odd stirring of hope and anguish that rose in his chest. Cloud needed him but it wasn't the way he wanted. Maybe someday but he couldn't bring himself to hope. He nodded and they walked on.

Upon reaching home, Cloud went in first Leon trailing slightly behind. Everything was dark so it was clear Riku and Sora were asleep. Leon toyed with the idea of simply sleeping on the couch but dismissed it. It would likely raise too many questions in the morning and he really didn't want things to become awkward with Cloud. He'd been fine sleeping with him before.

Even if most of those nights had lead to unusally long cold showers in the morning. Gods, Cloud had to have known Leon was at least attracted to him. He'd done his absolute best to behave lying beside the blonde but sometimes his body just hadn't cooperated.

In Cloud's room, they stripped down their damp clothes tossing them near the door. Both were too worn to care about neatness. Then Cloud climbed into bed with a slight shudder. "It's cold."

Leon hestitated but eventually got in on the other side. He lay on his back and stared at the ceiling while Cloud shivered beside him. "Come here."

Cloud raised an eye as Leon shifted his position. He scooched closer and found himself pulled into a warm chest, wrapped by strong arms. The chill almost imedieately faded. He mumbled a thanks.

Leon only grunted. "Go to sleep."


	8. Chapter 8

Bit shorted than the usual but this was really tough to write.

I really need feedback on this one, guys.

Oh last chance to vote.

The morning light irritated Riku's eyes. He didn't want to wake up. He especially didn't want to face the world outside of this bed. Sora was snuggled up against him. Riku studied that still childish face, wondering at how Sora had managed to stay so sweet, so pure after everything. Maybe Sora could forgive him if-

Riku suddenly couldn't bear to be in that bed.

He scrambled out, moving away from Sora as if the boy burned him. He couldn't do this to him. Sora was too good, too wonderful for Riku to be tainting him like this. Riku was tainted, dirty goods. He didn't deserve any one's love.

Why was he putting either one of them through this?

He leaned his head against the window. His indecision was only going to hurt them both further. Maybe he should just leave them both behind. Completely sever all ties. The very idea ripped his heart to shreds but what else was there? He couldn't make one suffer for the other. He doubted either would be happy knowing the pain the other had to go through.

At least if he left both, the pain would be equal and eventually they would both recover.

With this belief set firmly in his mind, he silently packed up his duffle. He would do what was best for both the men he loved. Neither one would continue to be victims of his inability to choose. He'd set them both free.

He didn't look back at the bed as he left the room.

Quietly making his way down the hall, he kept his eyes focused on the door. Ten more steps, nine more, eight, seven, six-

"Where do you think you're going?" A near silent deadly voice asked.

Riku turned. Leon leaned against the wall opposite the kitchen, arms folded and body relaxed. Riku knew this was a ruse. The man was ready to fight.

"Think you can just run away from all this, do you? How selfish."

"You have a better idea?" The teen snarled.

"Yeah. Grow up. Deal with the mess you made and face the consequences." Leon's tone didn't change a bit. "You've already broken one heart, what's another?"

"I don't want to break any hearts!" Riku dropped his bag.

"It's too late for that."

"Cloud broke my heart. He left me!"

"And you don't think it killed him to do that? Every think that maybe it's because he loves you so damn much that all he wanted was to see you happy even if it was at his own expense?"

Riku turned back to the door. "Then he was an idiot."

Suddenly he was slammed against the doorframe. Burning steel eyes bore into his. "Now you listen to me you selfish little cocksucker. You are the only one who can fix this nightmare you've created. I don't care what has to be done but you will fix it or so help me I will kill you."

Riku stared back. "What do I care? I'm already dead."

Leon's fist met solidly with Riku's jaw. "Do not start that shit! You don't know dead inside."

Riku tasted blood and spat as Leon released him.

Leon was still glaring at him with total contempt. "You leave Radiant Garden and I will hunt you down."

"Riku?"

Both froze at Sora's meek voice.

"Riku!" The boy ran past Leon, hand coming up to touch Riku's face. "What-"

Riku gently batted the hand away. He stared into Sora's frightened blue eyes and he broke inside. His own voice sounded so unbelievably weak. "Leon."

The man narrowed his eyes. "Fix this now." Then he left for Cloud's room.

Riku brushed Sora's cheek. "I've- I have something you need to know."

"What is it, Riku?" That voice was so trusting.

"Not here." He stated. He walked out the door, without bag. Sora obediently followed him around the house and down the street. There was a large park being finished and the fountain in the center of it had running water.

He sat on the edge of it, studying the bubbling water. Sora mirrored the position, face still terribly worried. Riku doubted Sora had a clue what was coming but he could not, would not back out now. Regardless of Leon's threat, Sora had to know the facts.

Oh Gods, he did not want to do this.

"Riku, why did Leon hit you?"

"Sora, I," Riku took a breath. "I know you're not blind. You've seen the tension between Cloud and I."

The smaller one nodded solemnly.

"A short while after Maleficent found me and I agreed to work for her, I met Cloud. He was working for Hades then and been dragged to one of their meetings. He wandered away from it and came across me. We spoke for a while, a long while actually. We found we had a lot in common and sort of became friends.

"We crossed paths several more times and vented to each other. We knew exactly what the other was experiencing and offered as much support as we could." Riku paused. He didn't want to see Sora's face when he said this next part but he needed to. Sora deserved that much. "After only a few weeks we became lovers."

There was an impossibly long moment where Sora simply sat there. He blinked once. His lower lip trembled a touch but he nodded. "Okay."

"We saw each other when ever possible. I took great comfort in him. I think, in the end he's the one who kept me from being consumed. I had a positive thing within the darkness. He stayed with me through everything. When Diz asked me to help him wake you up, I agreed without hesitation.

"You were my only thought, my only concern. I had to get you back no matter what the cost. Cloud fell to the side but I really didn't realize it. I saw him once after I, changed and I knew it broke his heart to see me like that. I didn't realize…" Riku trailed off. He hadn't realized the heart break was due to Cloud's belief that Riku loved Sora more than him. But he couldn't say that.

"Go on." Sora softly encouraged. His expression was closed and his eyes dull.

"A few weeks after you woke up, Cloud found me. He said we needed to talk. That's when he ended our relationship. He said he wasn't the one I really loved and he was letting me go to be with the one I did." Riku looked away. "He said he wanted me to make things work with you."

"But he was lying, wasn't he?" Sora's voice was broken. "He loves you, even now."

Riku had no words for that. He had no words left at all for that matter. He was drained, worn and utterly shattered. He knew Sora was quickly piecing together the rest of this. Sora wasn't dumb by any means. And he knew Riku way too well.

Sora bit his lip and stared down at the stone they sat on. "Do you love Cloud?"

And suddenly, one of those moments of crystal clarity came to Riku. The confusion passed and though he knew his answer would completely and thoroughly shatter both their hearts he had to say it. "Yes."

"Oh." It was hardly a whisper.

Silence spread like a heavy blanket covering them. Sora had shut down, revealing nothing to Riku. He'd never seen nor heard of Sora being able to do this. The brunette was usually an open book to pretty much everyone.

"Do you love me?" There was no emotion.

"Very much."

Sora considered this. "Does Cloud want you back now?"

"He hasn't asked that."

"Do you want to go back to Cloud?"

He knew that question was coming. And looking at Sora's blank expression he could not bring himself to answer. Unfortunalty, his silence answered it for him for Sora began softly crying.

"Why is this happening, Riku? I, I thought we were happy. I thought we were meant to be. I thought you were happy."

"I was, I am. I just…" Riku rambled out. "I don't know, Sora. I didn't want any of this. The last thing I ever wanted is to hurt you."

Whether or not Sora believed him he couldn't tell. The boy slowly stood. "I, I have to go. Now."

"Sora, don't…"

He shook his head. "It's okay. I just need to be away from you for a little bit. I promise."

Riku nodded.

Sora walked away and took half of Riku's with him.


	9. Chapter 9

This story is proving to be much more difficult to do than I originally thought. Encouragement is greatly needed. I'm sorry if this bit seems off. I know the last chap was kinda weird. Feel free to point out issues. The next chapter should be much stronger, okay?

Please review.

"Sora? Sora!"

It wasn't until Kairi actually grabbed his arm that he realized she was there. He heard the voice calling to him but there was no reason to react to it. There didn't seem to be much reason for anything right now.

"Sora, what happened?"

He shouldn't tell her. She'd be angry with Riku and Sora didn't want that. Riku was in enough pain.

"Sora, look at me!" She took hold of both his shoulders, forcing him to face her. He kept his head down, eyes to the stone road. Even when she pulled him to her and a near bone-crunching hug, he kept that pose.

She stopped talking and Sora was glad. He didn't want to upset her either. She wasn't involved in this.

He didn't notice that she had led him to Aerith's house.

The former flower girl set down her pruning shears and came quickly forward. She said nothing but helped get Sora up the steps and inside. Once he was positioned on the couch, she sat beside him opposite Kairi.

Sora just stared ahead.

"What did Riku say to you?" Kairi's voice was gentle but there was a definite underlying anger to it. "Answer me, Sora. 

He shook his head.

Kairi looked helplessly at Aerith. She was watching the boy very carefully, green eyes filled with concern. Her features softened and she placed a hand on Sora's back. "It's okay, Sora. If you don't want to talk, you don't have to. Just please understand that we're worried about you and Riku."

"Is… is there something wrong with me?" Sora whispered. "Am I, am I just too nice? What, what is it?"

Tears began falling from large, confused blue eyes. The boy really didn't seem to be aware of his surroundings. "He said he loves me. Even then he said it. Why does he want him then? Was I not good enough? Was I too clingy? But he loves me so why? Why?"

Kairi tensed. She was going to find Riku and kill him. What the hell had he said to Sora? The brunette was a complete basket case. Riku had finally said something but from Sora's babbling, had managed to completely fuck it up.

She almost stood but caught Aerith's eye. The woman slowly shook her head. "He needs you here."

Kairi grit her teeth. Riku would have to wait.

What had he done?

Sora had mechanically walked way almost twenty minutes ago and Riku had sat in a daze in the same position since. He'd finally done it. He'd revealed his greatest secret and shattered the heart of his nearest, dearest friend. After this, they wouldn't even be that anymore.

There was no way they could continue to have any sort of relationship after this… betrayal. That's what it was. Why had he never told Sora about Cloud? There had been absolutely no reason for it. Sora wouldn't have been bothered by it.

The first time they had sex, Sora had asked him if he'd done anything like it before. Riku had flat out lied. He still didn't know why. Sora might have been a little hurt he wasn't Riku's first but he would have gotten over it.

Now that he was thinking about it, their whole relationship was built on that lie. From the beginning, Riku had only been truthful about one thing: he truly did love Sora. He loved everything about the obnoxiously optimistic boy, from his childish views of how the worlds should be to his rare expression of anger when he saw something he felt unjust to those moments when he was completely at peace and he simply radiated light.

But did he really understand Sora? He thought he did but there were things he knew he would simply never get. Attitudes and stances that made no sense to him that he simply wrote off as Sora being Sora. In fact, when it came to Sora, he simply glazed over the rough spots.

Sora was this perfect icon in his mind and therefore their relationship was perfect.

And therein was the fundamental problem. The source of Riku's folly. Sora wasn't perfect, he never was but Riku had developed this image of him. And he wanted that perfection so he fixated on it, Believed that if he loved and devoted his entire being to that perfect, pure image he held, he would eventually become part of it.

He never should have gotten involved with his best friend.

Their romance was a wonderful mistake. It was one that he would forever regret, as much as it would remain a fondest memory. How messed up did that sound? However it was the truth and Riku felt a great deal of peace settle over him.

He heart still ached terribly for the suffering he had put Sora through. Sora would always own a significant piece of his heart even if the boy never spoke to him again. He knew they could never truly be apart nor could they ever again be together. He had done way too much damage.

"Riku?" That voice had never left his heart. Despite how desperately he tried to shut it out.

He glanced over. Cloud was frowning, looking more concerned than Riku believed he'd ever been. He felt terrible that the man was wasting it on him. He looked away again, back to the fountain. "I'm sorry, Cloud. I never should have put you through this."

He sighed. "I really messed everything up. I've never been satisfied with what I have, always wanting more. And I get so focused on what I don't have that I don't see what's right there in front of me. I've loved Sora a long time, almost as long as I remember. He was everything I wanted to be. He was open with his feelings, not afraid or ashamed to admit he was wrong or to say he was weak. Even if he failed, he still would go on with that damned eternal optimism of his.

"Sora is everything I can't be. He completes me. I can't fully explain it but it's the truth."

He managed to face Cloud again. The blonde was standing there, somewhat tensely. His face wore a neutral expression but those blue eyes of his were filled with apprehension and pain. Riku wanted to drown in those eyes.

"And then there's you. You, I can't even begin to explain what you mean to me. I look at you and I just feel, calm. Like if I have you, nothing in the worlds can touch me. It's like I'm home." Riku shook his head. "I never should have walked away."

The barest flicker of hope came to those eyes.

Sora sat numbly, not really aware of what he was saying. Things where springing from his mouth that he simply didn't understand. Why was he taking the blame for this? He knew he hadn't done anything wrong. He'd been everything a boyfriend should be.

From the start, he'd been the devoted lover, knowing when to push and when to back off. He knew Riku needed him. He'd always known that Riku was lost without him. He provided stability, a perfect balance to Riku's ever changing emotional states.

He had been fairly sure that Riku was lying when he said he'd never been with another. The silver haired boy had been way too experienced with his movements to not have been. He never really thought about why Riku wouldn't tell him the truth about this. He figured it had to be one of those things involving the darkness that he simply refused to go into.

Sora wasn't so naive that he didn't realize that sex and love weren't mutually exclusive. He had formed this theory that while alone, Riku had simply made up for his isolation with physical intimacy. After a few times with Riku, he didn't blame the other for it at all. Sex did feel great and there was a definite sense of fulfillment that came with it.

What was hurting most right now was the fact that Riku didn't trust him. He didn't even feel betrayed. He just didn't understand why it had to come to this. He felt whole with Riku. How could he feel such completeness with someone who was in love with another?

Kairi was fuming beside him and Aerith was simply watching him. He really didn't want to be near any one right now. He also knew he had to find a way to keep Kairi from going after Riku. For if Sora was certain about anything it was that he still loved Riku and forever would.

"You really wanna help me, Kai?" He spoke softly but the quiver was gone from his voice.

"Anything, Sora."

"Promise me you won't go after Riku."

Her expression darkened. "Sora-"

"I mean it, Kai."

"But look what he's done to you!" She jumped to her feet and began pacing. "He's been basically having an emotional affair on you since the beginning! I know you hate conflict and give everyone the benefit of the doubt but he doesn't deserve it, Sora!"

"I know."

"Then why…?"

"I love him." He answered calmly, leaving no room for further questioning.

Kairi stared at him for a long time. She suddenly threw up her hands. "Ugh! Why am I trying? Fine, Sora. If this farce of a relationship you got with Riku is worth that much to you go and be miserable."

She stalked off upstairs.

He glanced at Aerith. She gave a bit of a smile. He knew she understood what he was talking about. Of everyone here, she would the most. She stood and went to the kitchen. Returning a moment later with a damp cloth, she handed it to Sora.

He took it without comment and wiped his tear streaked face. Once finished he handed it back. "How did you and Kairi know?"

"We cornered Cloud." She answered. "He didn't want you to ever find out."

Sora smiled bitterly, getting up. "They're both damned idiots, aren't they?"

"Indeed."

"If you want to do something, find Leon. I would but, I can't help him just now."

Aerith frowned.

Sora laughed but there was no amusement in it. "I can't believe you haven't noticed. Leon's totally in love with Cloud and judging by what happened this morning, he knows everything now, too."

He walked to the door.

"Where are you going?"

He paused. "I think Riku, Cloud and I need to talk."


	10. Chapter 10

Okay all, this was a bitch to write. I'm pretty happy with it now but man did it go through rewrites. There's still probably issues with it but oh well.

My apologies in advance to a few of you readers. You'll know why by the end.

Please leave a detailed review or a pm. It will help for the next chap.

Thanks.

The silence lingered an incalculable length of time. Riku and Cloud maintain their careful expressions, knowing they were toeing a line that neither was certain they should cross. They each knew what they wanted but there was a third factor that they simply could not deny.

Maybe it would have been easier if they didn't both care for Sora. Cloud adored Sora though he'd never admit to it. The Keyblade Master had shown him it was okay to feel everything. That despite the darkness, light remained. He couldn't help but notice that the tragic element of the whole thing was that it was because of Sora that Cloud could love Riku.

And he knew perfectly well how strong the bond between Riku and Sora was.

"I can't simply walk away from Sora." Riku spoke firmly.

"No, you can't." Cloud agreed. There was resignation in his voice.

Riku stared at him for a moment before standing. He stepped up to him and lightly touched his face. "But I can't leave you, either."

Green eyes bore into blue. Riku's eyes were clear yet somehow unreadable. He had a heavy decision he needed to make and he couldn't let either one of them influence it. There had to be a way to keep them both.

"Good, you're both here."

They turned together. Sora's face was puffy, his cheeks a bit pink. His sky blue eyes were blood shot. With his hands in his pockets, he kicked at a loose stone. "I want to know everything, from the beginning. I think I deserve that much."

"You do." Cloud muttered.

"And then some." Riku added.

Cloud watched Sora for a long moment. He glanced at Riku then. "I want to talk to Sora."

Riku hadn't taken his gaze from his boyfriend. Could he even call him that any more? Sora was more serious than he'd ever seen him. This could not end well. "I, uh, yeah. All right."

He stepped away slowly. With heavy steps, he moved away from them. In a way, he was thankful Cloud was doing this part. Then again, he really deserved having to face Sora's heartbreak. And Cloud, he knew how far he had come and he was terrified that because of him Cloud would regress back to the withdrawn, removed person he use to be.

He walked out of the park and wandered. At least he'd be able to think alone.

Cloud lifted his head to the sky a moment, folding his arms. Then it dropped to stare down and to the side. He unfolded his arms. "I'm sorry for all of this, Sora."

"Don't be." Sora sighed, sitting himself on the fountain. Thank goodness the park was usually abandoned. "Just tell me about you and Riku."

"Not much to say." Cloud continued his downward gaze. "We met here, he was lost, I was lost. Somehow we connected."

"Not good enough" Sora snapped. Cloud looked up sharply. The boy's expression was angry. "If you're sorry like you say then tell me _everything_. And I want details, understand?"

Sora was deadly serious. For the first time ever, Cloud found himself fearful of the boy. Something about those blue eyes wasn't right. They were darker somehow. Different. It was almost as if it wasn't him.

He didn't know what Riku had already said so he simply started from the beginning. "Hades use to drag me to some of his meetings, almost like he wanted me to be his bodyguard. Usually, I was sent away once the thing got started, all the second stringers were. I kept to myself, finding some dark hall to wait in away from the others.

"There was one hall I had taken a liking to, going there often. There was a week between a set of these meetings and once the new one started, I retreated to the hall. This time there was someone else there, a new person I hadn't seen before and I didn't bother looking at him. We didn't talk at first, keeping to our separate areas.

"Then for whatever reason, I had the need to say something to him. So without even looking at him, I commented how the whole thing sucked. He agreed with a little laugh and we just started talking. I've never simply talked to someone before.

"The hours just disappeared and I was located by Hades to leave. I didn't even know the kid's name." Cloud paused. Sora was staring into the water as if hypnotized. The blonde knew that he was paying extremely close attention.

"We came back a few days later and again I saw him in the hall only this time it was like he had been waiting for me. That was when I actually looked at him. I hadn't expected how young he was. He sounded so much older. And I couldn't help but notice how similar his hair and eyes were to Sephiroth's. It honestly troubled me some.

"He smirked at me and very cockily said 'wasn't what you were expecting, am I?' I think that's when I first began falling for him. He was so confident and yet there's this underlying insecurity. There was more talking and again time simply flew by. This time it was Maleficent who found us. It was from her I heard Riku's name.

"After the first ten days or so, when we met, we would wander the castle. I told him I had a shack I was staying in when I was here and he said he'd like to see it sometime but Maleficent didn't let him wander away from the castle very often. Knowing we had some time before anyone would come looking for us, I offered to sneak him out.

"We left and went down by the river. We walked along it for a while not talking. I felt more comfortable with him than I did with even Aerith which was really strange. It was really late and dark out, a large amount of stars had already faded at that point. We sat on the bank and I don't remember how but we started talking about the darkness.

"We both felt lost. Like we had somehow completely strayed away from what our original goals were. The light was like some abstract thing we could no longer grasp. Next thing I knew, I was kissing him. I pulled away quickly, surprised by my action because I did not do things like that but he only smiled and kissed me."

Cloud moistened his lips. This had to be one of the longest lengths of time he had ever spoken. "Over the next week, we would sneak out to the river every time we met. The kissing continued, growing in intensity and by the end of that week we were lovers."

He waited for some reaction from Sora.

The boy was still staring but his eyes had narrowed. "Moved fast, didn't you?"

That really didn't need to be answered.

"Continue."

"Any time we could see each other, we did. He'd take a few extra days on his missions and I had lost my contract with Hades by then so if there wasn't a tournament, I was here. Almost as soon as we started sleeping together, he started talking about you. He was so conflicted in those days. He would get himself caught between cursing your name and crying that all he wanted was to be your friend again.

"I knew just by how he acted and how he talked about you that he cared deeply for you. After the Monstro thing, he came to me nearly suicidal. He went on about how he couldn't believe how cruel you were being and that's when he said it. Very clearly, he told me he loved you."

Cloud sighed. "That conversation, seeing him that vulnerable was also the exact moment I realized I was in love with Riku."

Sora blinked once then his eyes flicked over. "That had to be rough."

There was a trace of sympathy in his voice.

"Unbelievably. I had sworn to never fall in love again. I only let down everyone I cared about. Zack died because of me, Aerith died because I couldn't save her. I failed everyone important to me. But my heart wouldn't listen and fell in love again. And to top it off, Riku was in love with someone else."

Something in that expression changed.

"Something in his voice would change when he talked about you. Even was he was madder than hell at you, there was always this fondness in his voice. And it tore him to pieces that you were fighting. It was worse when he realized he was really the cause of it.

"But that arrogance and need to be the best wouldn't fade and he allowed Ansem to take him. Those were the worst few weeks of my life. Riku was just suddenly gone and I didn't know where to or if he'd ever return. It wasn't until much later that I found out about the possession and that you'd gone after him.

"I had come back to Hollow Bastion and was completely surprised to find everyone had returned. Cid had found me and some how convinced me to come to Merlin's. Aerith quickly noticed my melancholy and called me on it. All I could say was I was worried about someone who had been living here. She then explained what had happened here and how you had gone after Riku.

"I can't tell you how relieved I was when Aerith told me that. I knew if any one stood a chance of getting Riku back it was you. But then she said no one had heard from you since you left a month prior. I could only wait for something to happen. No one bothered asking me questions because I was always rather withdrawn to them. Only Aerith had an inkling but she didn't push it.

"Finally, one night I was at the river and Riku was just there. I thought I was seeing things but he kneeled down, wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. It was one of the very few times I've cried. He told me everything would be alright.

"I think in the back of my mind I knew the words weren't true but at the moment I was simply so happy and relieved it didn't matter. He told me about Castle Oblivion, smiling a bit when he finished because he knew in a few more days I wouldn't remember most of it.

"He asked me to keep quiet about him because he was still uncomfortable with your friends and I knew his heart was still troubled. After you began to fade from everyone's memory, Riku would take out a picture he had of you and him and stare at it for hours. He was determined he would not forget you. Even when he no longer remembered your name, he studied that picture. He would say, 'This is who I'm fighting for.'

"I never fully understood what he meant by that. I only knew he was someone important to you. He stayed in the castle ruins and I went to him every night. We ate, talked, practiced, and slept together. We were living together and no one knew it. And even though I couldn't remember why, I kept us secret.

"There were times when the darkness would creep up on him and all I could do was hold him as he struggled to keep himself. Most of the time, it wasn't too difficult. Other times I seriously thought I was going to loose him. Almost a year passed that way. Then Riku began disappearing for days at a time. He said he was restless but wasn't sure why.

"Finally, he was gone for two full weeks. I decided to search for him and quickly realized he wasn't on Hollow Bastion anymore. That meant he was using corridors again. I knew the only thing that would start him using those again was the boy in the picture. That was when I first started really understanding how important you were to him.

"He risked his heart every time he used the darkness. We both knew it yet he did it any way. I don't know how I knew it, but I knew he had gone to find you. All I could do was wait." Cloud's voice cut off abruptly.

Sora glanced at him again. "Were you jealous about that?"

"Very much so. I want so damn badly to be that important to him."

Sora's eyes shifted. Cloud had said that in the present tense. That meant Cloud to this day was envious of him. He frowned a little at that. "Keep going."

"He returned once, blindfolded. He didn't say a word when he showed up, simply came to me and we made love. He never removed the blindfold and wouldn't let me touch it. He then said that it was time for him to make up for what he did and he wasn't sure when he'd be back. I knew he was prepared to never return.

"I made him swear to me that he would. It took a great deal of begging, something I never do, but he finally nodded and promised he'd come back. I didn't see him again for over a week and when I did…"

"He was going by Ansem." Sora whispered.

"Yes. I was… so sick in my heart. I just couldn't believe it had come to that. He had literally given up himself to bring you back. I still didn't know who you were but by then he did. His memory had begun returning before anyone else's. And that's when I knew I could never, ever compete with you. You would always be first in his heart.

"You still hadn't woken at that point and Riku needed me to keep what little of himself he still had so I stayed and supported him as I had from the beginning but I started distancing myself. I had then made up my mind to step back. All I wanted was Riku's happiness and I was certain that was with you. He loved you. I was only a temporary substitute."

Sora stood and walked up to him. He studied him intently for a long moment then slapped him. Completely unprepared, Cloud reeled back. He managed to not bring his hand up but damn had that hurt.

"You are a damn idiot." Sora nearly snarled. "You don't know Riku at all, do you?"

Cloud stared.

"Riku _loves_ you! He never would had promised to return if he didn't! I'm the fucking substitute!" Rage clouded Sora's blue eyes. "Let me guess, he left again to finish helping Diz with Roxas. After I woke up, he came to you again and you, trying to be all fucking noble, break up with him! Oh how tragic."

Sora shoved Cloud's shoulder. "You're both fucking morons! You know that? And in the end who's the one who gets screwed? Me. I'm both of yours fucking victim."

He was breathing heavily and a film of sweat covered his face. "Listen up, Strife! You love Riku and Riku loves you. I'm sure somehow I fit into all of this but I will not allow this to continue! I'm out of both your lives. You want to make it up to me? Get back together with Riku and be happy about it.

"I'll get by. I'm the optimistic one, right? I make everything better for everyone. I'm the hope of the worlds, everyone's light!" The boy paced a few steps back and forth. "Well, where the hell's my light, huh? When do I get my happy ending? I thought I had but no, he's yours!"

Cloud watched in stunned silence as Sora suddenly began kicking at the fountain.

Then almost as suddenly he dropped to his knees before it, placed his arms and head on the side and wept fiercely. One hand repeatedly pounded on the stone. "Why, why, why?"

Cloud remained riveted to his spot. He had no idea how to handle this. It was completely overwhelming and totally unfamiliar. This was not what he ever wanted to see.

"You heard him, Strife."

Cloud whirled to see Leon leaning against one of the nearby trees. His expression was pained and his body terse. "Go see to it that all of this heartache is worth it."

"Leon-"

"Don't. Just go find Riku. I'll handle Sora." His voice was frigid.

Cloud, not knowing what else to do, left.


	11. Chapter 11

My apologies for anyone who's unhappy with how this story is ending. I think I've been rather fair to everyone but you all knew only one could win. There's one more chapter to go.

Please leave me a detailed review if you can. Thank you.

Riku sat in the highest remaining tower of the castle. It was a large airy room, with an opening the shape of a heart on either side to let wind pass through. He wasn't sure why he had chosen to come here of all places. Maybe it was to punish himself.

He despised this place. He was one of several people who favored simply demolishing the thing and putting up anything else. This damn castle was the focal point of too much sadness. That included his own.

He had long lost track of the time he'd been up here. Long enough for the sun to now be hanging low in the sky casting long shadows. Lately, twilight had really been calling to him. So much for the road to dawn. Maybe he should fade back into the darkness.

He'd owned up to what he'd done. Broken the hearts of the two he loved more than himself. What was left for him to do?

No he couldn't. He had to live with the full consequences of his mistake. That meant living in the same world as those whose lives he ruined. He had to watch them struggle to put things back together and then finally face the day when Cloud and Sora would find someone new to love and move on.

Gods that one hurt.

Sora deserved all the happiness in the worlds. He had given so much and never taken a thing for himself. There had to be something out there for him. He supposed, were Sora to find another, he would be able to handle it. In fact, it would make him quite happy. Somehow, he knew that Sora would always be a part of his life and that was enough.

Cloud was a completely different story.

He couldn't even contemplate the blonde with someone other than him. It was just wrong, impossible. Yes, Sora was his other half, the light to his darkness. But Cloud simply _completed_ him. Cloud was his light.

He had gotten confused in his own mind and because of that, probably ruined everything. Sora, while likely to remain part of his life, will never forget this. Forgive him, yes that was a given. The boy forgave everything but his heart would be forever scarred. Riku would carry that weight with him forever,

He'd be completely surprised if Cloud ever spoke to him again.

So he was totally thrown when he heard footsteps and the soft clinking of buckles.

He didn't turn to look at him. "Why are you here?"

"I don't know."

Silence.

"Is Sora…?"

"Leon's with him. They ordered me to find you."

Riku snorted. There was a bitter quality to it. "I completely destroy his life and shatter his heart and he still…"

"Yeah." Cloud agreed. Leon was doing the same. Maybe those two would be able to heal each other.

"What do you want, Cloud?"

Cloud bit his lip. It was time to be honest, completely throw caution to the wind and let it all out. It wasn't like it could make things any worse. "I want to be with you. I want you to be happy and I want to be the source of that happiness. I thought that by letting you go and knowing you were happy, I would be content. I'm not. I hate myself for it but I can't stand to see you with Sora. I don't want you with anyone else.

"It's selfish, I know but you're supposed to be with me. I belong with you. I know this deep in my heart and soul. I'm not alive without you."

Cloud didn't realize he had started crying until his hand automatically reached up to wiped them away. He felt some weight lift off his shoulders now that he'd purged his true feelings out. He'd finally been honest with himself and the one he knew he'd love forever despite the outcome of today.

Riku remained in his place, back still turned. "I love you."

He sighed and his head tilted down. "You realize Sora will always be in my heart. He is just as much a part of me as I am him. Even if we never speak again, we will always be together."

"You're two parts of a whole." Cloud muttered.

"Yes." Riku chuckled lowly. "I wish I had understood that before I created this mess. Sora will never recover from what I've done to him."

"I don't believe that."

"No? Well, I pray your right." Riku slid off his seat and faced Cloud. He met those blue eyes with his own tear filled green ones. "I need you, Cloud. You're the one I'm in love with but there are conditions. If Sora is ever in trouble or needs me, I won't hesitate to go to him. I will die for him of I have to.

"If you can't accept that, we can never work."

Cloud kept his eyes trained steadily on Riku. He knew every word Riku spoke was absolute truth. Could he handle these facts? Could he honestly deal with it if and when Riku would leave him when his destiny called, possibly to never come back?

If he wanted to be with him, he'd have to.

He walked forward. He stopped about a foot from the silver haired teen, noting again just how beautiful he really was. How did he ever bring himself to walk away?

"You have your destiny and I have mine. I've made it through the worst of mine and that was because of you. Yours continues and until it's finished, if it's ever finished I want to be right there beside you." He slowly reached out to touch that pale skin. "Whatever it takes, whatever I have to do."

Riku's eyes had teared up and a thin trail ran down both cheeks. He didn't deserve this. He had done so much damage, how could this man still love him? Then Cloud kissed him lightly and he sobbed. His knees gave out and he dropped to the floor, Cloud carefully holding him against his chest.

Sora had calmed down considerably and was now staring at the bubbling water. Leon hadn't moved from his position and simply waited until Sora was ready. He really wasn't sure what he could do for the boy or even why he was attempting it.

No, that was a lie. He knew why he was here.

"You love Cloud, don't you?" Sora sniffled.

That came up a lot faster than he thought it would. He knew the subject would be addressed at some point but Sora had jumped right to it. And he could not avoid it. "Yeah, I do."

"Why?"

"Why?" He echoed in confusion.

"Why do you love him? What is about him that captured you heart?" That voiced contained so much pain but there was an inquisitive, almost thoughtful tone.

Leon was talking before he decided to. "I don't really know. He reminds me a lot of myself and yet he's so completely different. He's dealt with real, truly terrible things in his life. There are horrors he's faced I can't even imagine. I've had to go through some tough things but they pale in comparison to what he's faced.

"And the darkness has marked him. It's taken a toll on his entire being but he hasn't given up. I see how much he struggles, how hard he has to fight and I understand why he distances himself. He can't trust himself. He makes me feel like a damn self-centered bastard for thinking I've got thing so bad.

"Yeah, I'm terrified to let people in but that's because I don't want to be hurt again. He pushes away to save the one's he cares about. He's so selfless, it makes me mad sometimes. In the end, he ends up hurting himself which feeds the darkness and it's just this viscous circle."

Leon took a breath. "I love him and hate him all the same time. I love his giving heart and hate his self loathing. He deserves so much more than he believes he does and I just want to show him that."

Sora moved up to turn and sit on the stone. He kept his eyes downcast. With lower lip sucked in a bit, he was obviously thinking something over. "I guess, what I'm really asking is how does he make you feel?"

Leon stepped forward and took a place beside the teen. He laced his fingers before him. "I hate seeing him upset. I feel this tightening in my chest if he's unhappy and when he's angry, all I want is to destroy whatever the source of it is. Same goes for anything or one who causes him pain. Hell, I once took on Sephiroth for him and barely escaped with my life."

"You did?" Sora glanced over. "Wow."

The older man nodded once. He sighed and his shoulders slumped a bit. A tiny grin overtook his face. "Cloud has one of the most beautiful smiles I've ever seen. It's not particularly large or over bearing but it lights his entire face. I live to see that smile."

"Yeah." Sora whispered. "I understand that."

They sat together in a comfortable silence.

"Riku almost never smiles. He smirks a lot but so do you and Cloud. In fact, I always thought he had a lot more in common with you two than he ever did with me. Sometimes I wonder how we ever got together. We're so different, like night and day I suppose.

"We balance each other. I only feel whole when he's with me. But that was true even before we began dating. I think the reason I fell in love with him was I knew he'd never leave me. We belonged together and so it just made sense to become lovers."

Sora licked his upper lip. "I love being with Riku. I don't ever want to be separated from him again but I've realized something. I don't need to be Riku's boyfriend to love him. He won't leave me, he promised. We will still be together forever. Even if Cloud is added to the equation, it won't really change our feelings."

Suddenly, he looked over with a little smirk. "Course I'm gonna totally miss the sex. He's _really_ good at that."

Leon found himself shaking his head but with a slightly amused smile. "Didn't need to know that."

"Probably not." Sora agreed.

"You really mean all this?"

"Yeah." Sora nodded. "It still hurts really bad but eventually I'll heal. It's gonna be a while before I'll be comfortable around Riku again and I don't know how long it will be before I'm okay with him and Cloud."

Leon snorted. "Right now I don't think I ever want to see Riku again."

"I understand."

"I've got an idea." Leon spoke slowly. He couldn't believe he was about to suggest this.

Sora seemed intrigued. "Okay, what?"


	12. Chapter 12

Riku felt like a total baby, practically balled up in Cloud's lap, still sniffling but no longer crying. He just didn't understand any of this. He was overwhelmed by it all. Cloud still wanted to be with him. Cloud still loved him. Why? How?

Cloud held him tight, stroking his hair. He murmured nonsense words in his ear, anything to calm Riku down.

Riku finally pulled away but not enough to leave Cloud's arms. He stared into those blue eyes searching for any sigh of deceit. He didn't find any.

"I love you." Cloud spoke firmly.

Riku bit his lip.

"I am never going to leave you again. Even if we're not together, I will love and support you." Cloud brushed those long bangs. "And I will do whatever it takes to help with Sora."

Riku sobbed once. "I don't, I don't know what…"

"I know." Cloud shushed him. "We deal with it as we have to. Just, sit with me for a little while."

He nodded and fell against Cloud again. He felt wrapped in warmth and never wanted to leave it. Cloud kissed his forehead but Riku wasn't content with that. He lifted his head and pressed a solid kiss to the blonde's lips, letting it convey all the denied emotion he'd been feeling.

Cloud's response was immediate and intense. Both hands gripped Riku's face, mouth opening to begin a battle to take control. He simply couldn't get enough. It had been so long since he felt this.

Eventually, Riku broke it off. He smiled fondly and wiped a bit of saliva from the corner of Cloud's mouth. "Before this goes any further, I need to settle things with Sora."

Cloud nodded.

Riku stood and held a hand out for Cloud. He took it and was yanked up and forward into Riku's chest.

The teen chuckled and tugged at a blonde ear tail. "Guess we can't keep away."

Cloud smirked.

"Come on. This place is depressing as hell."

"You choose it."

"It worked at the time." Riku shrugged as they began working their way from the tower. He hadn't let go of Cloud's hand. He wasn't sure if he could. He squeezed it to reassure himself. "Do you think Sora will ever speak to me again? I mean, like really talk to me?"

Cloud bit his lip. "I don't know, Riku. I truly hope so. The two of you have something so uniquely yours it would be a tragedy for it to be lost."

Riku frowned, clearly preoccupied with thoughts of the coming discussion. He couldn't avoid this nor did he really want to. He wanted it to be over. Silently he prayed he'd still have his best friend when all this was over.

Sora and Leon were sitting on the fountain edge, neither one looking up as Riku and Cloud approached. They had to know they were there. Riku still didn't release Cloud's hand.

"Are the two of you settled?" Sora asked quietly.

"Yeah." Riku licked his lip. "Sora, I-"

"Don't." He was cut off gently. "Nothing you say will change this and I don't want you to try explaining. It doesn't matter."

Sora looked up. He took in Riku and Cloud's clasped hands silently. He fixed his blue eyes on his former lover. There was so much emotion swimming in those eyes.

"I'm not sorry this happened." Sora whispered. "I do love you and always will."

"So will I." Riku swallowed thickly. "We can never be apart."

"Two half's of a whole." Sora half- grinned.

The silver haired one nodded.

"Cloud," Sora glanced over to the blonde. "If I ever so much as think you're going to hurt him, I will kill you."

There was steel in his voice and Cloud knew without question that Sora could keep to that promise. He wouldn't call it a threat. He only nodded.

Sora turned to Leon. "It's your turn."

Leon looked up, jaw locked. His expression was tense and his grey eyes clouded. He addressed Riku first. "I despise you. As far as I'm concerned, you are a selfish little bastard and don't deserve either one of these two's forgiveness let alone their love. But that isn't my call. Do anything like this again and I will make your life a complete and total hell."

He dropped his eyes to the ground. "Cloud, you already know what I have to say."

Cloud flicked his eyes toward Riku, who nodded once. He let go of the teen's hand and stepped forward. He knelt before Leon and placed a hand on each of his knee. "Leo, I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Leon muttered. "I told you what to do."

Riku hadn't been able to stop looking at Sora. He looked so different, so wrong. Sora had been irrevocably changed by this and it was breaking Riku's heart.

Sora felt the eyes upon him. He held Riku's gaze steadily. "It's going to be okay, Riku. I promise you. It will just take time."

"I love you."

Sora smiled a little. "I know. I just wish I understood earlier. I could have saved you from all of this."

"Saved me?" Riku asked incredulously. After everything Riku had done to him he was still thinking of him before himself. What was with this guy? "You're the one who was victimized. I still don't understand how both you and Cloud…"

"It doesn't matter how, only that we have." Sora explained. He turned again to Leon. "Tell them."

Leon finally looked at Cloud. "We're sending the two of you away. We all need time to sort through things, get ourselves together. We've arranged for both of you to spend some time at Disney Castle. The King already knows what's happened here and he wants to see both of you."

"He's very concerned." Sora added. "I haven't been able to convince him that I'll be all right yet. However he knows I have all the support I need here. You however, well, he takes a special interest when it comes to you, Riku."

The older teen fought a smile. This sounded like a good plan to him. Mickey always was able to make him understand things about himself. And time with Cloud without the pressure of everything here would also be good.

"You leave today." Leon spoke almost flatly. "Once you pack your things, you can leave. They're expecting you."

"What about the two of you?"

"Don't worry about us."

"We'll get through this." Sora assured them all. "And when we're ready, we'll find you."

Riku and Cloud exchanged looks. It didn't sound like they had a choice in this. Cloud stood and moved away from Leon. Without further word, they left the park.

They had packing to do.

So that's the end of that. There's an epilogue in my mind and if there's enough interest, I have ideas to make it into a very short follow up piece. The conclusion if you will. Your reviews will dictate my decision.

Thank you to everyone who's stuck with this to the end. I know there were some rough spots.


	13. Chapter 13

Okay, I was rather unsatisfied with the end of this story and I know some of you were also. This is the aftermath which I am infinitely happier with.

Please let me know what you all think.

Epilogue

Mickey watched from one of the high platforms as Riku demonstrated to the King's nephews how to escape an unarmed attacker. In the past month, Riku had gotten very involved in teaching the children of the castle how to defend themselves. He really had a knack with kids and they simply adored him.

The Keyblade wielder had finally found peace with himself. It had taken nearly six months but he had been determined. And Cloud had been with him every step of the way going through his own trails. Both had made incredible progress and Mickey was extremely pleased with both of them

He glanced at the letter in his hand. They were ready.

"Hello, Your Majesty."

The mouse smiled. "How many times do I have to tell you to call me Mickey?"

"As many times as it takes."

He looked up and over at the blonde. "Finished already?"

Cloud nodded. He stepped forward to glance down. "How are things down there?"

"Very well. Mort adores Riku." Mickey commented. "Both of you do very well with children. Marlene and Denzel are great kids."

"That was more Tifa's doing than mine."

Mickey studied him for a moment. Cloud physically looked different from when they'd arrived. He seemed younger, no worry lines, eyes no longer haunted. He had lost his fear and now lived fully in the present. The future was a welcome thing.

A loud chime rang through the courtyard.

"That's dinner." Mickey grinned, turning. "Let's meet Riku downstairs."

The evening found Riku and Cloud walking with the King through the courtyard. They held hands lightly, completely comfortable together. The demure ruler lead them down a winding path. "It's been almost six months now. Both of you have made amazing progress. I'm quite proud of you."

"Thanks, Mickey."

"See?" Mickey pointed at Cloud. "Riku has no problem calling me by name."

"He knows you better than I do."

"Whelp, that may be true but I'd like to think we've gotten to be pretty good friends."

Cloud nodded.

"As I was sayin', both of you have gained insight into yourselves and learned to deal with your faults. There isn't much more we can do on that front. It's time to begin the final stage."

They frowned at him as they entered a small alcove.

"Hey, Riku."

The silver haired teen froze. Sora sat on a bench, a trace of a grin on his face. Something about him was very different. Beside him stood Leon, arms folded non-threateningly.

"Hi, Sora."

"Mickey says you've been working with the kids."

"Yeah. It's been a lot of fun."

Mickey took a step back. "Whelp, I've got things to do. See all of you at breakfast."

He left quickly and the four stood in an uncomfortable silence. Sora swung his legs, both hands on the stone bench. "You look good, both of you. Sending you here was a really good idea."

"It was." Cloud quietly agreed.

"So, uh, what have you two been up to?" Riku decided to push through this awkwardness.

"Kairi and I went to Twilight Town. She's dating Hayner now." Sora smiled. "They're really happy."

That was a surprise. "Wow. Well, good for her."

"Yeah." Sora agreed. "I finished school there with them. It's been fun."

Riku nodded.

"Leon's gotten a ton of things finished on Radiant Garden." Sora gave the man a mischievous glance. "You going to tell them?"

"Knock yourself out, kid."

"Leon's going out with Aerith." Sora almost laughed. "Can you believe it?"

Cloud's eyes widened. "Really? That's … actually that's not all that surprising."

Leon raised an eyebrow. There was a slight grin on his scarred face. "When it happened, we wondered ourselves why it hadn't been sooner."

"What about you, Sora?" Riku asked seriously.

The smallest of the group shrugged. "Still single but hey, everyone loves me and it's enough. One day, there will be someone but until that time comes, I have friends. I'm happy."

He frowned suddenly. "Well, almost happy."

"Almost?" Riku echoed.

Sora looked him dead on. "I want my best friend back. No one knows me like he does."

Riku felt something in his heart slide into place. That last little bit that had been off center settled itself in its proper place. "I want that too."

"Good." Sora actually smiled. His old, bright enthusiastic one. "Now that that's been settled, it's your turn, Leon."

The Gunblader shifted his weight. He was clearly a bit uncomfortable and he placed his gaze on Riku. "I still don't like what you did. I've finally figured out why all this happened, how it happened. I still care for Cloud, deeply but it's not and never was something that would last."

Cloud stepped forward until he was standing right before him. He then embraced him tightly. Leon gripped him back for a moment before carefully pushing him off. "Don't get all sentimental on me, Strife."

"Never, Leonheart."

During the course of the conversation, something had lifted from each of them. That last little bit of weight, the lingering guilt disappeared. Each had come to terms with themselves and therefore could do so for each other.

"So, I think we should all blow this joint and go to Twilight Town." Sora grinned. "Leon and Cloud have got to try sea salt ice cream."

Riku laughed. "Yeah, they do."

"Sea salt ice cream?" Cloud frowned.

"Sounds disgusting." Leon argued.

"Oh it's totally awesome." Sora protested. "Riku's had it and liked it and he's totally picky about food."

"Tell me about it," Cloud folded his arms. "The cafeteria here is all vegetarian. Riku only eats broccoli drenched in cheese sauce and corn there. Thankfully, we have our own kitchen and can buy our own food."

"Ooh, really?" Sora's eyes widened. He turned to Riku. "Got any steak?"

"Of course." He smirked. "And Montreal seasoning."

"That stuff's good." Leon commented.

"Well come on then." Riku waved them and turned. "I'll make you all steak."

The four left the alcove, smiling and chuckling.

Mickey had watched the scene from the gazebo with a small smile. Once they disappeared from sight, he laughed to himself and went to bed. He knew they'd all be fine.


End file.
